But it's not just that... Jake was my first in pretty much all senses of the word. I'm scared of sleeping with another guy, having sex with another... seeing a different one naked. It's weird but I am. I'm scared. I've become so used to him that I don't know how other guys function.
I'm scared of feeling like this again. I feel humiliated and heartbroken, and it's something I don't want to feel...
So. In October I am going to do the 10k run in the city's annual race. They have a half marathon option... but 22ks is a really long run. I'm going to train for it and run it to prove to myself that I only need me. I have 55 days to train and I'm determined.
I'm also going to get my nose pierced, because I've always wanted to do it, and why not do it now?
1 comment:
Nose piercings: Ugh, they are incredibly ugly and prone to infection(although not as much as eyebrow or lip). That said, its your body, do what you wish, at least its not permanant.
Running a marathon: Great idea! If that helps you remember your strength then go for it. The first two years of this blog were fantastic and you seemed very comfortable in your own skin, you need to regain that feeling.
As for other men, take a break. You do not need a male to feel good about yourself. You need to recover your sense of self before you go dating again.
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