I'm Going to Town Tonight...

Proof

I just wanted to assure readers that I'm not filling the void (if there is even one) with food.

I Want A Jess.

Yeah, I'm posting again. Get over it. I'm on holiday! Although I've made the decision to restrict my Facebooking to one hour a day. I want people to think I'm out doing stuff, even if I'm not. I'm way to addicted to that stupid social networking site for my own good.

Anyway, point of today's blog is guys, again. Which was sort of the whole reason I started this blog in the first place, so it's apt.

I love Jess from Gilmore Girls. He's a bit of a dick, but there's something so mysterious and sexy about him. And I want one, please. That's the sort of guy I'd like at the moment. The guy who isn't anti-social, but would prefer to stay and watch movies with you than go to town- but will go if you drag him. He reads, and makes pop-culture references, and if I don't get them, he'll make me read/watch/listen so that I do get it. He works, or at least has had some sort of a job, has a car, and of course is a good kisser. He wouldn't stick around forever, he can't, he's not made that way, but he always cares.

This is the kind of guy you can't meet in town, I don't know where you would.

Saturday Night

I've finished my exams, I'm free for three weeks. I survived Semester A! Hooray!

How am I celebrating? Well, I went to town and watched the All Blacks beat the French, and then I came home. And now I'm watching Season Three of Gilmore Girls. It's not exactly how I had planned on spending my Saturday night, but my friend bailed on me so I had no one to go to town with. So, I'm home alone. I don't even have any food to gorge on. I went for a walk and sat down by the lake for a little while, but it got too cold. I did see a shooting star, though. I made a wish that next semester I'd be happier, less lonely, less... I don't know. Less me, maybe?

It's times like these where I wish I had a boyfriend, or a guy I fooled around with (but didn't actually have any feelings for). I'd just text them and we'd watch movies and make out a bit. It'd be nice, and better than this- as much as I love Gilmore Girls.

Exams and Kip

I have my first university exam tomorrow! I'm pretty confident about it, and hopefully I do well. At the moment I think I'm sitting on an A average, maybe A- for the whole semester, so I'm pretty pleased with myself.

On a different note, I've completely forgotten the reason of why I ever liked Kip. He's a jerk to me all the time, and I'm not sure what exactly I've done to deserve it. Even my pod-sister agrees.

"Kip's a great guy, and he's my favourite out of all the boys - but I hate the way he treats you. I hate the way all the boys treat you."

Doormat

I'm mad at myself, because I said that this year I wouldn't be that person. I wouldn't be the person that lets everyone walk all over them, that I'd stand up and learn to say 'no.'

Am I that person again? Of course I am.

Hello, my name is Six, pushover and doormat, nice to meet you!

I spent nearly $500 buying tickets for a concert later this year, with the thought that everyone would pay me back straight away. Only two people of six have paid me. Are the others going to pay me? Eventually. They don't seem to understand that to function next semester and over my holidays, I need the money back now.

Why do I keep doing this? I lend money out all the time, and no one takes my nagging seriously when I ask for it back. I'm currently $300 out of pocket. Is asking for them to pay me back promptly really all that bad? I don't think so.

The Evolution of Sixteen Secrets

I starts this blog on a whim, never thinking that I'd write over a hundred posts. I've never been able to keep a diary for that long, what makes an online blog any different?

This blog has also changed a lot from when I first started it. My first posts were all about secret confessions and desires, whereas now it reads more like the pages of my diary, which I guess in a way is what it is. And although it's secret to the people most important to me, there are people out there reading about my life. Or there used to be, I'm not sure if anyone is quite so interested any more.

I use this blog as an outlet, a place to say things that I can't speak aloud to others. It gives me satisfaction to know that people can know the dirty little secrets. I also like the fact that most people who commented on my posts were there to give advice and encouragement rather than to judge.

I love writing this blog, and although my posts may not be as interesting as they used to be (although there's still a chance of more pictures going up), I will continue to do it long after people have stopped reading it.

Still A Bit Lonely

I'm still feeling a bit lonely. But luckily I can blame it on stress, as exams are coming up soon. I'm trying to think of something more interesting to post, but everything socially has finished until the holidays, so I'm out of ideas.

Only the Lonely

And when I say that I'm happy again... well, I lied a little bit. I am happy, mostly. I'm over Kip, I'm happy for him and his girlfriend. But I feel lonely.

I went to town last night to celebrate the end of semester, and was instantly ditched by the guys I went with. I knew this would happen, and I wasn't worried by it. After awhile though, I was still by myself. I hadn't been approached by any guys (except for a creepy guy with hair that looked like a rug), and all around me, there seemed to be couples.

My night was lame. I wasn't exactly looking for a guy to hook up with, but to have been approached by one would have been nice, to have a guy to dance with would have been nice. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing wrong in the man-front. I always make an effort to look good when I go to town, and yet never get approached.

I don't exactly want a boyfriend, but I miss the cuddling and flirting that goes on. I want someone to stay up until four in the morning with.

Yes, I'm aware of how pathetic I am, thanks for pointing it out.