Single Again (after just three weeks).

I broke up with him. I woke up this morning and realised that I didn't find the unwanted touching a huge deal, but was using it as an excuse because I'm not ready for a relationship- and perhaps what he was expecting from it.

He apologised to me, face to face. I accepted it, because I knew he was sorrow. I then told him that perhaps we'd be better as friends, because we were just too different. He's so shy and I'm so out there. I said that he deserved someone who was more reserved and lady like.

I felt better for doing it. So what if I haven't got a boyfriend? My friends are all single at the moment and are having an awesome time. I've realised that I'm happy having fun mucking round in my last year of high school and I don't need a guy to assist me in that - unless it's a one off make out session, of course.

Was Last Night Really Worth It?

Johnny and I went to a party last night. We were having a great time. We'd both had a little too much to drink, but I still knew what was going on.

We made out in the corner, and that I didn't mind. His hand was on my arse, but that I didn't mind either. It was when he attempted to finger fuck me that a seed of doubt about his integrity was planted in my mind. He'd stop when I told him to, but then a few minutes later he'd try again. 

When we made out by a tree, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. But then he tried to do it again. When I told him to stop he said "sorry," and I know he was.

But now I can't stop thinking about whether this is what I want. Do I want a guy that when we're drunk tries to finger fuck me? I thought I'd be ready to go all the way, but that's put me off.

He says he's sorry now that he's sober, and I do know that he means it. Is this something I'm fretting over for no reason? Is this gut feeling really just my hangover? Or, should I end it soon? Although, if I was to end it after only three weeks, the whole school would be on my back about why.

I'm really keen for advice, if I have any readers left.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

We hooked up at school the other day. Not in view of anyone, but still. I never thought I'd be the sort of person who would do that.

We have a 'secret spot,' where we go and spend our morning tea together. How cute are we? 

We're going to a party on Saturday, which supposedly is supposed to constitute as our first date. It isn't really, but I don't mind. I'm happy that I get to spend time with him.

Before we hooked up, I was scared that I wasn't attracted to him any more. I don't know why, but for some reason I just thought the buzz was gone. It relieved me that it wasn't, in part because the whole school and staff seem to know about us.

Even my dean said to me today, "Six and Johnny, up a tree."

My Man

I've been a bit slow with posting because I'm addicted to the Olympics. I get home from school and watch it until I go to bed. It's terrible, but fantastic at the same time.

He's lovely, my man. We havent been on a date yet because we haven't had time and we live so far apart, but we sit together in class (kicking each other subtly under the table) and have started to spend our morning tea together.

He's Samoan, and is in the forward pack on our school rugby team. He's intelligent, taking all the sciences on offer as well as geography. He's also shy, and that's the reason we decided to keep our relationship on the down low for awhile. So much for that. The only person he told managed to spread it round the seventh form in twenty minutes, but we never confirmed or denied anything.

I think our first public outing will be the party next week. I'm excited. He's so great :)

Single No More

I'm lazy, I know. At least I haven't sold out to paid work thank you very much CCG. Although if someone offered me cash to write stuff, I wouldn't turn it down, either.

Anyway, what I'm really on here to blog about is this:

He finally asked me out!

I'm no longer single!

He's so adorable, too. We'd admitted that we liked each other awhile ago, and I kind of thought that he would immediately ask me out. But he didn't, and eventually I said, "if you ever get around to asking me out, we can do that stuff" after receiving a particularly flirty text. After some more banter, he asked me out and although I knew it was coming I was so excited!

We're keeping it on the down low for the moment, because if his team mates find out any time soon, we'll never hear the end of it. I also want to wait until we actually go on a date in case it comes back to bite me in the bum.

Wishing

I've been sick for five days. No school, no work... and yet.... I wish I was there. I've been stuck on the couch watching movies, while coughing my lungs up. I'm not allowed to go to the movies, not allowed to go and watch my  friends play rugby. I'm over it.

Just the other day I'd been wishing I could get sick, because a day off would be really nice. Now I have three days of work to catch up on! As they say, you should be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it.