Goodness, eight days since I last posted. How terrible of me. I've been so busy with work, and to be honest I don't have much to blog about because I'm on holiday. I haven't really had the chance to go out with friends or anything, so I'm out of hot topics. If anyone has any questions for me I'll do a q&a session, just because I have nothing better to write about.

Boy Body Issues

Turns out boys have body issues, too. I mean, I was aware of it - I'm not stupid, but even confident boys worry if their body isn't good enough.

I'm talking about this today because my boyfriend texted me, saying he had something to ask that was bugging him.

"Are you happy with my body? Like, are you happy with me?"

"What? Are you serious? I love your body. I love your arms and your back especially."

"Yeah, I'm being serious. I guess being fat once makes me still think I'm a little bit fat. I saw Taylor Launter in New Moon and ultimately I want to look like that, so next year I'm going to start a new program at the gym to work on toning up."

"Don't let it become your life. If you want to get a body like him, I won't complain, but I love you the way you are and will continue to do so whether you have the body of Jacob or not."

Now, Jake's not a skinny guy, so his toning up to look like the New Moon wolf is not unrealistic. He's bulky, but lacks the definition that stereotypically makes a man sexy. Well, not stereotypically. I'm not going to complain if he wants to tighten up, but as it is, to me he is still perfect the way he is. He has an amazingly warm body temperature which I love, because I always seem to be cold. Who needs a blanket when you can snuggle up to your own personal heater with arms to wrap around you and make you feel secure.

It doesn't matter what his body's like, I fell in love with him and not his body.

Skype Calls

It's been just over a week since I saw him in person, but last night we had a Skype date. It started out as general conversation, talking about what we'd been up to, our families, our uni plans. And then it got a little romantic as we undressed for each other and just soaked each other up.

Only problem was, it made us both a lot more desperate to see each other again, which is why he's decided to fly up and stay with me in twenty-five days (yes, I'm counting down) so that we can spend time with each other.

After he told me he loved me and we hung up, I felt lonely, which sucked. I wanted to snuggle into his warmth and have him kiss me.

Twenty Five Days to Go.

An Epiphany

I think I've had an epiphany before on this blog, but I'm had another one. I had it a couple of days ago while I was getting undressed for my shower.

I'm happy with my body.

It may not seem like a big epiphany, but for most women (and men too, perhaps), they never achieve happiness. Sure, I'm not perfect, but at this moment I've never felt so secure in my own skin. Going to the gym has made me relatively fit, and relatively toned. My legs still wobble a bit, but my stomach looks good. I'm confident to undress for Jake, and I know he loves my body, so maybe that helps.

It's a good epiphany to have.

Long Distance

This long distance thing sucks and it's only been four days. Don't worry, I haven't become all pathetic and whiney. I'd just like to hear his voice. Hopefully we get the chance to talk tonight.

I figured out how much it will cost to go to his town. Too much. It would amount to about three days of work and that sucks, because I can't go spending the money I make like that.

I'm sad. Hopefully he can come see me.

Home

I'm done. I'm back in my hometown for three months of freedom. Well, working... but mostly freedom.

It's both awesome and sad - home cooked meals rule, but chances of me seeing my friends and Jake over the holidays are slim. I'm busy waiting for Summer to truly arrive so I can spend my days reading books in the sun.

Thanks to everyone who offered their support about my little sister. We sat down and watched the interview with Rihanna yesterday - I'm hoping that maybe it will make her think a little bit. Other than that, there's still nothing I can do.

Exams, Jake and Abuse

Just one more exam to go and I will officially be finished my first year of university. I feel so old! I should be studying, but I can't seem to do more than two hours a day without getting majorly distracted.

On another note, my parents said that Jake could come and stay with us during the Summer break, as long as we sleep in different rooms. This is a big achievement in my household, where the rule used to be 'no boys to stay. Ever.' I think my parents are finally recognising that I'm growing up, or perhaps they just really like Jake. Either way, I'm stoked.

I'm not stoked about the situation with my littler sister, though. Her boyfriend had been seen pushing her to the ground at school. My parents aren't able to do much, because she's said that if they stop her from seeing him, she'll run away. They'd prefer to be able to monitor what he's doing than have her run away and get even more hurt. They've forced her to go to counselling, and that's about as much as they can do for now. I'm hoping that when I get back, I'll be able to help her, even if it's just by spending time with her. It sucks that she's 16 years old and in an abusive relationship. It's even worse that the only person who can truly help her turn this situation around is herself.