A Yellow Note

It was after four in the morning when she pulled herself from his arms - his warm, secure arms - and slipped silently from the bed. She was naked, her nipples erect from the sudden change in temperature. Her black evening gown lay abandoned on the floor. She picked it u and shimmied into it, silently apologising for leaving it on the floor. With her dress back on, it was almost as if the night's events hadn't occurred. Only her tousled hair and smudged makeup gave her away.

Where was her scarf? She looked around for it in the dark, not wanting to turn the light on She relied solely on the streetlight that leaked through the gap in his curtains above the bed where he slept.

Finding her scarf under her handbag, which sat on his desk, she turned to look at him. He was entangled in the creamy white sheet. She longed to wake him up and tell him about how her feelings had changed. But she couldn't. That wasn't how it worked. Taking a Post-It from the lacquer desk, she scribbled a note and stuck it to his open lap top. With a final glance, she left his apartment without a sound.

He woke a few hours later, at first not realising that she was no longer in his arms. Of course she wasn't. She wasn't expected to stay. He had no idea what time she had slipped out. He hoped she was alright. He hoped he hadn't offended her in some what. Why was he thinking like this? It didn't matter whether she was OK or not, it didn't matter if he'd offended her. It wasn't his business. But how he wish it could be! He wanted her to stay the night. He wanted her to stay forever. He groaned and pulled himself from his bed, awakening all the memories of her as he did so. As he walked towards the bathroom he saw the note. It excited him. His mind started to piece together a fantasy in which the note promised it everything. Tentatively, he went over and read it.

"If you ever need my services again," it read, "you know where to contact me."

He screwed the evil yellow note up in one hand and threw it against a wall. The fantasy was over. She would never be his.

Fork in the Road

This year is my final year of high school, and I find myself severely lacking in motivation. Last year I poured my heart into school, striving for the best marks I could gain. This year I just can't be bothered, even though it's the one year that I know I have to knuckle down if I want to get into university and get scholarships.

I think it's because I don't have any career aspirations. I know I'm going to go to university and do a Bachelor of Arts, but what do I major in, and why? Where is it going to take me? I don't want to be a teacher. I don't want to be a politician. What I really want to be is an actress - it's the only thing I know I'm good at, yet I don't want to be struggling to pay the rent, which is the reality of acting. So, do I throw away my dream and step into reality, or do I accept that the only way I might truly be happy is if I'm on stage, entertaining the crowds?

Numbers Game

I went to a party on Saturday night. A bunch of people were there who were far too young to be drinking, and then my friends who are just a few months of 18. I was having a good time, dancing with my friends when Jay arrived. He had picked us up, but had left again after dropping us off. Who knows where he had gone - probably to pick up some more booze and something. When he returned, he went over to the iPod and changed to fast paced music to something more laid back. I strolled over and grabbed it off him.

"How do you expect me to dance to that?" I said with a coy smile, changing the song to Umbrella. He smiled and we began to dance, side by side, having a laugh. We danced for the whole song, and as the next one began he slowly moved behind me, ever so subtly. I hardly noticed until I felt his presence behind me. A shiver echoed through my body as I danced with him, our bodies moving to the beat. He said I danced like a brown girl, a high compliment to be paid. We talked about university, and my plans for after high school. He asked if I went to the clubs.

"I'm sure I've seen you there before," he said to me. I shook my head,

"I'm too young,"

"When you're eighteen, I'll take you. Give me your number, you know, just so I know when to take you." I laughed, and gave it to him, shocked that he'd even asked for my number.

He texted me the day after the party, saying he wanted to get to know me. Then he texted me again yesterday. This is all so new to me. First a guy asks for my number, and then he actually texts me! My life is starting to get exciting.

Playing Truant

I skipped school for the first time yesterday. It was the first time I had 'properly' wagged. My friends and I left the school grounds in Joanne's white two door car. I needed to get my wallet, so we drove to my house first before going to the local mall for a feed of Mc Donald's. My mum doesn't work, so my greatest fear was that she would be home and ground me for the rest of my life, but I needed my wallet. Joanne pulled up outside my house and I crept up the driveway, my heart pounding in my ears. I reached the door and slipped my key in the door. If it turned, I was in the clear.

It turned. I breathed a sigh of relief and raced into the house where I found my wallet and threw a t-shirt on, abandoning my school shirt on the floor. I raced out of the house once more - making sure to lock the door behind me. My friends cheered as I arrived back and Joanne pulled out into the quiet street and we headed for the mall.

"I heard that if Mc Donald's see you in uniform they call the school and describe you," Samantha said as we pulled into the car park. We all sat silently for a moment. We were all too good to risk getting caught. For me it would mean the end. I was a prefect, and therefore one of the school's leaders. 

"Maybe we could go to BK..." Beccy suggested from the back. We all nodded and Joanne backed out and joined the steady flow of traffic.

After BK we drove into the park. 

"You're awesome at gear changes," Samantha said from the back seat, "I always stall."

"Do you want to practice?" Joanne asked, smoothly changing gear.

"What? No!"

"Why not? I'll help you, it'll be easy."

"I'm only on my learners!"

"Chicken," Joanne teased. Sam's face went hard and she turned to me,

"Six, get out of the passenger seat." We laughed, and I hopped out of the car and joined Beccy in the back. Joanne gave Samantha the instructions, and we were off. 

"Change gears now." The car jumped a little at Samantha's nervous hands.

"You're doing fine," Joanne said as we drove down the quiet road. Samantha sped up to normal speed, and her gear changes got smoother. 

Then, all of a sudden, we saw traffic lights ahead. We were about to turn onto one of the busiest roads in the city.

"OH MY GOD" Cried Samantha. The light turned amber...then red. We all panicked.

"The main road!" Joanne said, waving her arms about frantically.

"Get out and swap while it's red," I said.

"My car!" Joanne cried out again.

"We're going to die!"

"GET OUT AND SWAP!" I yelled again, half laughing. Finally they followed my instructions and leapt out of the car. Samantha forgot to apply the hand break, and the car slowly began to roll forward.

"Holy fuck!" I cried, and yanked it up just as the light turned green. Joanne hopped in the car and we sped round the corner, all of us screaming with laughter.

"Back home?" Joanne said. We all looked at each other and smiled.

"I don't think Sam's finished her driving lesson yet," Joanne laughed and continued on into the park.

"Here we go again," she said.

Eyes Wide Open

She couldn't sleep. The crisp white sheets crinkled as she moved about in her single bed, eyes wide open. With a sigh, she reached over and turned her lamp on, and light spilled into the room with its pasty yellow walls. Her room was a mess. On her desk were half a dozen unidentifiable bits of paper, most no longer relevant. The chair that sat under her desk was also cluttered. Clean clothes to be put away, then her school skirt, and on top of that, her blazer. On the floor were the pair of jeans she'd regret not washing when Saturday night's party rolled round. On one side of her bed were the books she was supposed to be working her way through for her history assignment. On the other were old magazines and the books she was reading for English - Atonement and Memoirs of a Geisha. She picked up the first and managed to work her way through another chapter. She was too tired to read, but too awake to sleep. It was a terrible cycle she was stuck in.

Maybe some milk would help. She pulled herself out of bed and quietly crept from her room to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, the cool blast only managed to wake her up even more. Silently cursing, she took the milk and poured herself a glass. Drat. This would mean she'd have to brush her teeth again. She really couldn't be bothered. Surely milk wouldn't do that much damage. In fact, it would probably do good, with all that calcium.

She returned to her room and placed the now empty glass by her bed. Finally she could feel sleep coming to her. She turned the light out and settled back into her bed, the sheets crinkling once again. 

She closed her eyes.

But sleep wouldn't come.

In the Mood to Party

Why is it that whenever you feel great and are ready to dance the night away, no one else is? I woke up this morning feeling great. Last night I went to the movies with some friends, and it must have put me in the mood for socialising because throughout the day, my need to go out and party has become greater and greater. On my lunch break, I sent round a text asking if anyone was keen to do something exciting. The only reply I received was, 

"Sorry - rearranging my bookshelf."

WHAT? That's the sort of thing I say. I'm usually the anti social recluse. Why have the tables suddenly turned? I'm going to end up dancing to my iPod in my room. What a depressing thought.

Movies I'd Like to Recommend

La Vie En Rose - I saw this movie last night. I've been dying to see it for ages, as my dad used to listen to Edith Piaf in his little French car. This move is absolutely incredible. If I could be half as good at acting as Marion Cotillard is in this film, I'd still be better than half the actresses in Hollywood. It will tear your heart out, then stitch it back up, only to tear it out all over again.
Atonement - I saw this movie twice in the opening week, and now I'm just waiting for it to come out on dvd. I haven't read the book, but this movie is just fantastic. I felt so many emotions when I watched it. The ending leaves you feeling shocked, and it stays with you for days. A friend said of the book that every time you read it you discover new things about it - well the film is just like that. I'd never been a huge fan of Keira Knightly until I saw this movie, but now she's got to be one of my favourite actresses.

Juno - I already reviewed this movie, so I won't blab on about it for ages. But it's a brilliant film, and I think that Ellen Page is just stunning, and is going to have a great career in front of her.

The Darjeeling Limited - This was a very, very strange movie. There is "part one," a short film in the beginning that doesn't really make any sense whatsoever, but then the actual film doesn't make much sense either. It's humorous and touching, funny and sad. My favourite line has got to be, "I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!"