The Ball (again)

Derek asked someone else to the ball and I'm gutted. I don't know why I am, as I know I shouldn't be. He was never even aware that I wanted asking, which is my own fault of course. He had a deal with my friend Kim that if neither of them had found a date by the ball then they'd take each other, but then Derek asked Sophie. So even if he hadn't found a date he still wouldn't have taken me. I asked Kim to the ball, so at least we don't have to go alone. Derek told me yesterday that I should find a date so that I don't look stupid. I didn't know we were all supposed to be taking partners.

I just feel kind of silly for having ever expected Derek to ask me. I should know better by now.

The ball is on Saturday, and no I have still not been asked by anyone. But I don't really care.

I'm more worried about my dress. I'm borrowing one off a friend but it's just not quite right. My sister's sending hers down for me to possible wear, so hopefully it will look good. I know it's only my uni ball, but that doesn't mean I don't want it to be perfect!

Jealous?

Our ball is in a week, and all the guys are taking someone from outside of our group except for Derek. I kind of thought he'd ask just me, just because we're the only two without dates. I found out today that he has a secret date, but he hasn't asked her yet.

And I'm jealous! I'm not sure if I'm jealous because I wanted to go on his arm, or because I just wanted someone to ask me, or because I wanted to go with someone. But I am. I'm jealous, and I think it's a bad sign.

The End of Re-O

And Re-O Week draws to a close, and I made out with two guys on two consecutive nights. A bit slutty maybe, but I couldn't give a hoot because I had fun. And they both texted me the next day, so it was a great self esteem boost.

Although, in saying that the ball is in a couple of weeks, and I would very much like someone to ask me. Mostly just because everyone in my group of friends seem to be coupling off. There are eight of us, and only three singles left. I've never been asked to a ball, so it'd be nice just for a change, even if it's just Derek, the only single guy left.

USA and Re O Week.

I didn't realise that I'd get so many strong reactions to my decision to go to the States next year. I want to go somewhere different, and I've heard that Canada is a lot like New Zealand, only colder. Britain is the mother country, so a lot of our ideals and beliefs come from there. The United States of America, however, is truly a different place. Different foods, different ideas about society - plus I'm very interested in American history, so that's my reasoning for going there. Plus it means I can see Max again, which is merely an added bonus. I will not be going to the same university as him, and I'll be in a completely different state, so I'll still have to make new friends etc.

I'm back at uni now and we're coming to the end of Re-O week, which is a downgraded version of O Week. Last night I went to a fluoro party, and tonight we're all dressing in white for the White Out Party. On Tuesday night I got a back draught - a shot that they light on fire, and catch all the alcohol fumes in a glass, while sprinkling cinnamon over the flames. You then have to do the shot through a straw, and then suck up all the alcohol fumes. Straight after the shot there is a period of about ten minutes that I cannot remember a thing. Needless to say I will never do another one of those again.

Goals

Semester B Goals:

• Worry less.
• Feel more secure with myself. I'm great, hear me roar and all that.
• Extend my circle of friends.
• Drink less, and go to town less. Not a lot less. Just less.
• Work hard. Working hard equals scholarships for USA.
• Save for USA.
• Have fun!

Exchanges

Sorry about the delay in posting. I've been really busy working, and for the past five days I've had a friend staying with me. Although not just any friend, Max is more like a brother to me. Last night I took him to the airport to catch a plane back to the USA. I cried like a little girl.

However, he's inspired me to go on an exchange next year to the States. After showing me pictures of what his campus looked like, I knew I'd love to experience that same college life. They seem to have a lot more school pride than the universities of New Zealand, so I've started researching the American universities that partner mine. Americans are also surprisingly different to us Kiwis, and I think it would be awesome to experience a new way of life.

I return to campus on Saturday, and after opening "the book of Max" and taking his advice, I'm going to try and be less insecure. He said that I have no reason whatsoever to be insecure - he's never heard a bad word said about me. So I'm listening to him, and I'm going to try to worry less and have more fun. I'm also not going to worry about boys- instead I'm going to focus on my studies more. I did really well this semester, finishing with an A average. I figure if I keep this up next semester, my chances of getting scholarships are a lot higher, and maybe I could even get sponsorship to the States.