Revelation My Arse

Some revelation. 

Last night Isaiah came over. We were just hanging out, watching movies. I cooked him dinner, cause we'd both just finished work. We sat down and watched August Rush (highly recommended), and then I made him watch Sex and the City (also recommended). Except we both fell asleep on the couch while watching it. I was lying on his chest. I swear I didn't mean it in any way other than a mate falling asleep on another mate. I hadn't dressed up for him or anything. I was wearing sweatpants, my armpits were unshaven and my sinuses were full of snot. Throughout our snooze, we got closer and closer. I woke up and my head was on the middle of his chest, my arm up around his neck. His hand was on my hip, the other resting on the arm around his neck. His hand (I think it was his. I'm not sure how this whole thing started) slowly moved down onto my bum. I sighed a little and rolled closer. He brought his leg up and slipped it between mine.

I'm not really sure how we got to the next stage (I was sober, by the way, but perhaps a little dozy), but I was on top of him and his hands were on my behind, and he was kissing my neck. He went to slip his hands inside my waistband, but I pulled them up. He stopped immediately and wrapped his arms around my waist and rocked me softly.

"I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with," he said, rubbing my back. If I had half a mind I would have sent him home (he wasn't supposed to be staying the night) or gotten into my own bed, but I didn't. I stayed on top of him as he continued to rub my back, almost massaging it. Things got a bit hot and heavy again, but once again he stopped, my legs wrapped tightly over his hips.

"We can't. No protection," he said. I think that if he had said, "I have a condom," I would have lost it last night. Instead, I laughed little bit and asked quietly,

"Are you staying the night?" At three in the morning I would have thought the answer was fairly obvious.

"Yes."

"Would you like a proper bed?"

"That'd be nice." I rolled off him and got off the couch, grabbing his hand. My house was empty. I could have sent him into one of the many bedrooms with beds, but instead, I took him to mine where we both hopped into my junior single. He's over 6 ft. It was a tight fit. 

Once again, I don't know how it happened, but somehow he was on top of me and we were making out. His hands were roaming again, but I didn't mind anymore. He started rubbing me, and I lifted my hips a bit in encouragement. His hands slipped past my waistband, then into my underpants. He massaged me all the while kissing me. Then he slipped one finger inside me. Then another, and then-

"Is your nose bleeding?"

"What?" He said, his fingers slipping out of me and up to his nose. I had thought he was a bit sloppy, turns out it was blood. I got up and sneaked off to the bathroom before he found the light switch. Sure enough, blood all over my face. I washed my face and then soaked a flannel with warm water. I went back into my room and flicked the lamp on. I sat behind him and washed his face and his now bloody hands.

"How ironic that it's the guy that bleeds," he said. I chucked the flannel aside and turned the light back off.

"You can be on top this time," he joked. I lay on top of him but didn't do anything. "Your heart's beating so fast I think it might stab me."

"Maybe your nose bleeding was a sign," I said, kissing his forehead and rolling off him. I snuggled into his chest and together we fell asleep.

It was awkward when we got up. He left pretty quickly. We had a bit of a laugh, but neither of us really knew what to say. We texted each other later and agreed that it shouldn't have happened, and that we're definitely not going to tell anyone. I know I said that I didn't want to be the other woman, but to be honest, the guilt hasn't really hit me. I'm more concerned that we've lost our friendship. I don't think we have, as we're texting each other now and we're both on the same page in regards to it. We'll wait and see, I guess.

P.S. Don't comment if you're going to lecture me. It's not what I want.