Why did I lie? Surely it's not that bigger deal to have been honest. I think it was just easier to say that I hadn't, especially as I know that Jake is still uncomfortable with the role Kip played in my life prior to him. He worries that I might still have feelings for him, because I told Jake that I had thought I was in love with him. I've reassured him that our feelings towards each other are now purely platonic, that it's Jake I feel for now, but I know if he knew I'd given him a blow job he probably still wouldn't be that happy.
Also, when I gave Kip his blowjob I wasn't sober, so I had the liquid confidence. Although in time I'm sure I will be happy to give Jake one, I didn't feel confident enough to do it then. He was fine with it, but I think if he knew about Kip's, he might have felt a bit ripped off.
1 comment:
One lesson you need to learn quickly: Your sexual history is only you and your previous partner's business. You don't even really have the right to talk about it if your going to name names, since the other person has a right to privacy as much as you do(would you like Kip or anyone else telling other people you may know that you gave him a BJ?).
But, besides the ethics of it, the real problem is that guys are...funny...about it. A *few* guys like to hear stories about their partners past sexual escapades. A few more are neutral about it and are honestly just asking to gauge what your interested in. Most, however, get jealous, even if they do not express it. And over time it can degrade the relationship. It also can result in them expecting you to do things with them that you did with previous partners, and if you refuse they make it a statement about your feelings for them somehow not measuring up to whatever you had before.
Guys will almost always ask about your sexual history. But you should always be vague. Saying "I know how to give a BJ" or "I have tried it before" is fine. Saying "I gave one to Kip" is not fine and will only lead to trouble(as you suspect already).
If a guy demands your sexual past in detail, then you can tell him flat out that its not his business, and that you wish to respect the privacy of your previous interests. If he insists, then take that as a warning sign that he may be a control freak or possessive in a bad way.
Personally speaking, btw, BJ's are overrated. I've become convinced that they are something that many people enjoy simply because they think they are supposed to enjoy them. I've never been able to maintain an erection during them myself, regardless of how skilled my partners have ever claimed to be, and I get far more enjoyment going down on her than I've ever had from a woman going down on me.
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