I guess I wanted someone to notice me, and ask me what was wrong. The only person who noticed was my exchange student friend, who said "it looks like you've tried to kill yourself. Either that or you're a vampire," I laughed it off and said I was a vampire. He'd noticed them, but suddenly I didn't want him to see them anymore, I didn't want him to notice.
I'm sorry that my posts have suddenly taken a downward spiral. I'm trying my hardest to feel happy again, and by talking about it here, I do feel better. Thanks for your support :)
2 comments:
I'm glad to hear you're fine today, and that posting helps you feel better. I've enjoyed your posts for a while but decided to delurk, hoping you'd perhaps feel some more support. I wish I had something more helpful to offer, but any advice I could try might be really off mark. But, I think it might be good to try letting your parents know how things are going for you - they may be too caught up with your sister to notice, but not too caught up to care. And maybe send a message out here before hurting yourself if you get the urge again?
Well all you 're saying makes me think of depression. Which is not dramatic but which will take some time to battle ^^.
As for the cutting well "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real." i think it can explain a lot. Sometimes you feel so bad, so oppressed that cutting yourself is a way of making it go out in a sense (or prove yourself you're alive).
The problem is not that you've done it, the important thing is what you will do of it now. ^^
My two cents advices find a way to express all of this if you don't want to talk to your parents and friends, writing is an excellent way. Write on it (and as it's for you, you may not post it there). Next time you feel so bad to cut yourself, take a pen, Six... difficult to start but it works, don't think, write... even if you're shameful of what you wrote... It 's like crying it washed the soul.
Take care, litte one ^^
N.
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