Monday, 9 June 2008

The C Word

My mum's having a radioscopy on Thursday. I guess after that we'll know if it's the C word or not. I know it's stupid, but I don't want to say the word. 
I've been doing things at home, thinking to myself, "if I do this for five more minutes, she won't have cancer." I know things like that don't make a difference, but at the moment I feel it's the only way I can help.

I'm so scared. I'd give anything for this just to be a scare.

4 comments:

moprix said...

I lost my mom two months ago. She went to the hospital with problems breathing, went straight to the Intensive Care Unit and never came out.

They called me in four times to say goodbye. The first one when they put the tube in so that I could talk to her and she could reply.

I got to say goodbye, thank her and make sure she knew how much I loved her and how proud I am of her.

Anyone who has not gone through it cannot know.

This is the single most significant relationship of your life. Having that threatened leaves you with nothing else. Having her gone ahead of time leaves a hole. A big hole, one that cannot be filled.

Tell your mom you love her. Hang out with her. Spend time with her.

If the tests come out clean you will be glad you did. If the tests come out bad you will be even more glad you did.

At one point you will feel frustration and anger from the pain this situation is causing... make sure that when you are around her everything you say and show is love and positive.

I am sure you are surrounded by friends and family, but sometimes it is easier to talk to someone you don't know. If you ever need to vent please feel free to email me or look me up for a chat.

I send every positive vibration I have in your direction. Any and all good karma that I have accumulated is at your disposal.

Since I can no longer say hello to my mom tell your mom I said 'Hi'.

- Pedro

The Flash said...

I hope you can find some comfort and distraction in this trying moment. If it's any comfort, know that you live in a developed country in the 21st century, and even if there is something bad, your mother's chances are very good.

And it also might be nothing.

Anonymous said...

I really wish that all comes out ok with your mom!! I'll definitely keep her in my prayers and best wishes.

- an avid and regular reader.

Meghan said...

I know what you mean about the "small things at home." Sometimes you feel like you can bargain your way out of things- that small, insignificant deal with no one in particular feels like it gives you control.

This post was hard to read. I've been following your blog for a while, though I don't really comment. I know it's probably worse when people say "I'm so sorry" so I won't say it.

As an atheist, I can't promise I'll pray for you, but I will sit and do the closest thing to it.

I hope your mom comes out okay.
Hugs.