Classroom Chaos.

There's a boy sitting at the table across from me. He has the name of his home country tattooed across his forearm. This class is in chaos. My friend notices that a boy's fly is down. She points it out to me and we erupt into juvenile giggles. We get tears in our eyes when the boy's friend points out that he is flying low. His embarrassment only makes us laugh harder. At another table, a guy with Sonic the Hedgehog hair's hands are waving animatedly, his friend nodding eagerly. The girls at the front of the table are gossiping, leaning in as they speak in hushed tones. 

The teacher has long since given up up trying to get control of the class. He sits down and blends in with the rest of the furniture. A few people are actually trying to work amongst the noise. I'm not one of them. I just sit back and watch the classroom chaos.

Friday Disappointments

Ralph has a girlfriend. Although I'm disappointed, I'm not suprised, and I'm not as gutted as I thought I would be. I suppose that's a good sign. It's probably a lesson for me to go for guys my own age.

What upsets me is more the fact that yet another guy isn't interested in me. I know I'm young and don't need to worry about having a boyfriend, but it'd still be nice to have one. I don' see why I don't deserve one. I make people laugh, I'm little, so people feel they have to protect me a bit (aren't guys into that?), I can hold a series conversation and a silly argument, I'm realitively attractive. I'm FUN! And to be honest I don't see why some people have boyfriends when I don't. I know it sounds horrible, but what makes them better than me? I know it's not all about looks, but I would consider myself to be better looking that at least one of them.

On a positive note, I suppose at least this means the end of those horrible "is he isn't he" posts.

Tears Don't Fall.

Do you ever lie in bed at night and just cry? Maybe you saw a movie, and it bought tears to your eyes. Then you revisit it before you go to sleep, and the tears start to trickle out. Then they flood, and it's not about the movie, book or TV show anymore. It's about anything and everything. It's because you're scared of what the New Year is bringing - if it's bringing anything. You're scared because you don't know what's ahead of you. It's because the guy you've liked before Christmas is still just the guy you've liked since before Christmas. It's because the world is sitting on your shoulders.

You cry yourself to sleep, and then you wake up the next morning and feel a sense of relief. The tears have stopped you from going insane.

I need to cry. The tears just won't come.

Bored?

Yesterday Ralph came into my shop to buy stuff. I helped him, and spoke to him. I asked why he cut his hair - turns out it was too hot where he was. He was away for fourteen days with ten mates. I said how jealous I was, and he laughed. We talked and we flowed. And my friend said I looked smooth as, even though I was so nervous and I'm sure my face was bright red! Later on I got changed out of my uniform (more about why soon) and went to give him and the other guys some lollies. I swear he checked me out more than was necessary. And my boss made the point that if he had a girlfriend he probably would've mentioned it already. But then again, maybe not.

I got changed at work because I had a party to go to, which turned out to be the lamest thing ever. I was so bored that I left early. Normally I dance heaps, but the person I normally dance with wasn't there because he had to go to some Chinese New Year celebration. There wasn't really any dancing. And everyone was there with their boyfriends and it was all very dull.

Dull like my posts. Are you all sick of these?

Text Messages and Short Hair

School went back yesterday. No verdict on whether it sucks or not yet because all I did yesterday and today was stand around during the junior assemblies.

Ralph returned from wherever he's been for the past two weeks today. He cut his hair off! He used to have lovely, dark hair that brushed his collar and curled a little bit. Now it's short. I'm so sad. His hair was so sexy. But he's still sexy, just slightly less geek-sexy. I'm going to use it as a conversation starter tomorrow at work.

The other guy in the store, I think I called him Blue Shirt Guy or something and I are good friends now. Well, we text and stuff. And being me, I texted, "does everyone in your store know I like Ralph, or is it just my imagination?" Turns out hat BSG didn't know. Nice going, SS. Nor did he immediately text back saying, "Ralph likes you too!" So I'm not really sure where I stand anymore. I suppose it's good in a way that someone near him knows, and he's such an awesome guy that he might suggest something. Who knows?

A Week Until School.

I made prefect :). That makes me pretty happy. For those of you who don't know, prefects are the leaders of the school. You have head girl and boy, and then prefects. It's quite an honor to be voted by your peers and teachers, even if it is rigged. Either way, I got it.

Ralph has been away from work for two weeks. Well, not quite, but two Saturdays, and the days in between them. It's good for me, because it's giving me a chance to get over this obsession, but I'd still like to know where he is. I'd ask someone else in the store, but as I think they all know, it's too obvious, so I'll just have to wait it out, or find a chance to ask casually. Maybe he'll be working late night on Valentine's Day like me :p

A Review

I just saw Juno. I was a bit nervouse to be honest, because it had been nominated for so many awards, and had so many stellar reviews. At the same time, I was excited. It's about time someone made a movie like this. It's absolutely fantastic. It's hilarious, but I should have taken some tissues with me. I really felt that I could connect with the main character, Juno. She was totally kick-arse, and even getting pregnant didn't stop her from being awesome. Her first sexual encounter results in pregnancy, and that's something that I'm so scared of happening to me. It's lucky I have not yet had the chance to worry about it. And hopefully won't have to worry about.

Anyway, the message here is for you all to go and see it. It's brilliant.