I got drunk with Ashlee last night, and we had a deep and meaningful about love and life. I shared that I wished I'd gone further with Isaiah that night, and that afterwards I felt as though maybe I should have done something with my hands, rather than just him with his.
I then decided that it would be a good idea to text him that and share. The following is an extract from our text messages.
SS: I regret not going further with you that night
IS: Really?
SS: I'm sorry, I'm drunk. I shouldn't be texting you
IS: Good call.
SS: I still want to hang out with you next week without it feeling weird.
IS: It won't. You'll still be my friend in the morning
SS: I'm drunk. I'm sorry for telling the truth. Because it's not something that's possible, and I shouldn't have brought it up with you.
IS: Well guess we're just in two different worlds.
SS: I guess so. I don't want you emotionally anymore, but I still want you physically.
IS: Feelings don't have to be involved, do they?
WAIT. Hold up. What? What does that mean?
SS: What do you mean about feelings not being involved?
IS: Haha, nothing.
SS: No, tell me.
IS: No, you're drunk.
SS: I'm sobering up pretty quickly right now. You have to tell me what you meant!
IS: I just meant that feelings don't have to be involved, right?
SS: What are you saying? What do you want?
IS: I don't know. What do you want?
SS: Tell me what you want! Be honest. I won't judge you. I won't think anything differently.
IS: I honestly don't know what I want? I hate the way he turns things like that into a question, as if I'll be able to answer it.
SS: Do you want more than friendship? Do you want friendship with perks?
IS: Perks?
SS: Like... what he had? Did. Or is it something else you want?
And then he decided he was tired and had to go to sleep.
What. The. Fuck
5 comments:
http://sixteensecrets.blogspot.com/2009/02/broken-rules-of-friendship.html
Somehow it just seemed appropriate...
God, you're so right, but at the same time... I've never met his girlfriend, so to me it's almost as if she isn't real. Sigh. I'm still waiting for him to text me, anyway.
I hate to be the voice of dissaproving conscience here, if you were obsessing about anyone else I'd say "Go for it" as long as you protect and respect yourself, but this potential situation really bothers me. As I'm certain your tired of hearing.
The real answer to the situation is to simply befriend her. If your any kind of a friend, it will quickly make the situation with him implausible at best.
I can't wait till you get away, I get the feeling once you see the better oppurtunities elsewhere this will all be put in a different perspective.
Does New Zealand really celebrate "World Nude Day"?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/google/world-nude-day
I really, really hope we don't.
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